Pro-tips for those who find "working technology" offensive.
Why use thermal paste when you can use a double-shot espresso? The heat from the CPU naturally brews the coffee, providing a rich, aromatic experience right before the motherboard emits a beautiful blue spark.
A long-haired Persian cat is the perfect way to clean your RAM. Just rub the cat vigorously against the memory sticks. The resulting 50,000V discharge is basically "fast charging" for your data.
If your BIOS won't let you go past 5GHz, simply apply a blowtorch to the heatsink. This forces the electrons to move faster out of sheer terror.
Eco-friendly and delicious. Simply carve a hole in a russet potato and strap it to your i9. After 10 minutes of gaming, you'll have a perfectly baked potato and a reason to buy a new CPU.
This section is reserved for the most legendary PC killers in the Stampede server. Currently, Nico holds the world record for "Most random reason to fry a GPU" (Trying to render a 1:1 scale map of 1865 Kansas).